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I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
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The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
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I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
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Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
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A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
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I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
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Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
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It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
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Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
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You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
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My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
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I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
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Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
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Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:28
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